January 17, 2020
It’s tough enough to be a caregiver. But if your senior family member doesn’t allow anyone besides you to help her, that makes the entire situation even more complicated. That can mean you deny yourself time away that you might really need to take. So, what can you do?
Talk to Your Aging Adult about What’s Going On
It’s possible that your aging family member doesn’t completely recognize what she’s been doing. She may feel that she’s been far more open to help from other people than she really has been. The problem is often that your senior is comfortable with you and with the help that you are able to offer to her. Accepting help from other people may need to be a more conscious effort on her part.
Share What Help Would Do for You
One thing that can help is to explain to your elderly family member why you need more help than just yourself as her caregiver. She may not fully understand or realize just what sorts of pressures you’re facing. As she gets a better picture of what you need in order to support you more, she may become more accepting of help from other people. Be honest with her about what you need, because she needs to understand what’s at stake.
Find a Compromise
There’s a happy medium and you and your elderly family member need to find that point. It’s not reasonable for your aging family member to continue to decline help from anyone else that isn’t you. That puts way too much on your shoulders and isn’t sustainable. Finding that point in between is crucial if you’re going to make this caregiving situation continue to work.
It’s More Common than You Might Think
As unusual as this situation may feel to you as your senior’s caregiver, it’s really not that unusual at all. It’s difficult for a lot of people to accept help. Accepting help from one person she trusts might be the most your senior feels that she can do right now. But that doesn’t mean it’s reasonable for you. Again, it’s about finding that compromise that works for both of you.
This can take some time to resolve. You’re working with your senior’s comfort level as well as your own needs. Don’t give in, though, because you need to be able to rely on other people to be able to help, too.